I have a breast reduction surgery scheduled for April 6th. I am excited, nervous and slightly overwhelmed. Especially since my milk supply dried up, these things just don’t look like they used to.
I was a late bloomer. I used to get teased mercilessly for being flat-chested. I hated it! I use to pray for big boobs. I went up a cup size each year in high school. I always joked that having big boobs as an adult was because God felt sorry for me because people used to make fun of me.
Since I was a freshman in college I have wanted a breast reduction. Those things were huge. Whenever I put on weight, it goes to my chest and stomach. Chest is usually first. I have never been fully comfortable in my skin and tend to dress modestly. At times this is hard with a large chest, because I have cleavage even in higher necked shirts.
I don’t know if past trauma, growing up in a strict religion, or other factors played into my mindset that I should be ashamed of having a large chest. I do know that I never wanted to be seen as just a girl with big boobs. It’s weird to want something for long, then I get it and instantly hate it!
Since I got pregnant, I haven’t work a regular bra. I only wear sports bras. My size is hard to find in regular stores. My back hurts. I can’t go running. Any type of cardio requires that I wear at least 3 sports bras. I would like to option to do cardio. I probably won’t do cardio once they are smaller, but I’d at least like the option. Yeah, probably no running.
I’m going about 2 cup sizes smaller. I am planning on being a full C or small D. The scars don’t bother me. I’d like the option to wear a regular bra. I’d like to wear clothes and feel good in them. I think my self-esteem will improve.
Right after giving birth, we went to the lactation nurse several times. My daughter was just under a month early. She weighed 5lbs 7oz. She was also tongue-tied. The lactation nurse told me my boobs weighed 7-8lbs a piece! No wonder this poor tiny baby didn’t want to latch. She would have been suffocated!
I fully support that people should be allowed to do whatever they would like with their bodies if it makes them feel better. This will be my first elective surgery. I have several friends that have had breast augmentations, which they say they love. I also have some friends who have had reductions, which appears that they are even happier with. I feel I am making the right decision.
I can’t take narcotics. They all make me violently ill, even with anti-nausea medication. This part makes me the most nervous, because I don’t know what to expect. I have gotten through several other surgeries without narcotics and I was just fine. Any time you go under, I think it’s normal to have nerves. I know I will be fine and on the mend before I know it.
I tried to buy bras before my surgery because I’m so excited. Clearly this is a stupid idea. I have no idea what size I will be once it’s all said and done. It’s hard to see how it will fit with my current size. I do know I’m so excited to wear some of my old clothes, that I’ve held onto for when my chest is smaller. I feel good about this. I’m excited. I’m ready. I might throw a goodbye party for my boobs. I think my husband will be the only one who is sad. He said I could get a forklift to carry them now so it alleviates the pressure on my back. Thanks honey…..thanks.
I’m sure I will write about this more, especially as the date approaches and when I’m recovering. This may be the first year in close to a decade that I’m not completely dreading swimsuit season! I’m grateful that I’m fortunate enough to be able to have an elective surgery that hopefully will give my back a break, and my self-esteem a lift! Ha! Plus my boobs will get a lift!!!!