Lady Bits and Bladder Fits!

When I woke up this morning, I definitely was not planning on spending the night in the hospital. What was more surprising is that I had an emergency surgery. I wasn’t expecting anything major since we did a relatively simple procedure.

This morning when I checked into the hospital, I was well aware that I was having a Cystoscopy and my mirena placed while I was under general. I guess cystoscopies are pretty unpleasant. They stretch your bladder beyond it’s capacity, in a safe way. Then they would put medications in my bladder to hopefully, help ease my frequency/urgency/pain when I try to urinate.

Since I was doing the cystoscopy in the OR, my gyno suggested we just stick the mirena in at the same time since I have issues with it going in. Thanks a lot childhood trauma! I love the IUD once it’s in, but it is pure torture for me to have it placed in the Dr.’s office.

This whole ordeal was supposed to be quick and fairly painless. There was no discussion about cutting me open. I understand things happen, I wasn’t expecting this. I awoke from my beautiful unconscious sleep to be informed that I would have to stay the night at the hospital!

Are you kidding me?! Other than my C-section; I have never spent the night in the hospital. I have had several surgeries, and none of them resulted in an overnight hospital stay. I asked why, and the nurse told me there was a complication. I don’t know if he told me the specifics; even if he did I didn’t remember as I had just woken up.

Then I felt along my lower abdomen. That was quite tender. I looked underneath my blanket and saw a fresh incision sight. I again asked the nurse what happened. He told me I needed to have surgery because part of my bladder lining had torn, thus resulting in emergency surgery.

I have never spent a night away from my daughter. She is 21 months. I know a lot of parents who has spent nights away. My husband has been on several overnight trips. I wasn’t planning on this and it wasn’t my choice. I think this is why it has been so difficult for me. Also, coming out of general I’m pretty emotional anyway.

What bothers me the most about this little surgery, it that because of the damage I must have a catheter in for 7 days! 1 whole week?!?! Are you mother effing kidding me? I said several expletives in front of my mom and father-in-law. To say I’m less than thrilled would be an understatement.

I’m pretty hopped up on meds and this is probably another one of my foggy posts, I needed to vent. I’m frustrated. I’m sad. I feel defeated. I miss my daughter. My bladder is a terrorist who is setting out to destroy itself. Having a catheter in; when I always feel like I have a raging UTI only makes it worse. I feel like I have the worlds worst UTI. I sit on a toilet in my room for 30 minutes at a time in an attempt to relieve myself. I know I have the catheter in, but it makes me feel safer when I have to pee to be in a place that it won’t get all over the place.

I have had issues with my bladder and abdomen since middle school. I have had frequent UTI’s. There’s been speculation that I have interstitial cystitis (we think that has been tossed out as of today, goody). I have endometriosis. Sex is horribly painful for me, like knives are stabbing me. I was trying to get myself fixed.  I was trying to self-care. I’m so tired of peeing 40-60 times every single day. I’m tired of abdominal pain. I’m tired of being sick. I always get the job done when it comes to work or parenting. I don’t tend to take care of myself.

I felt like I was doing just that. I was taking care of myself and then this happens. It’s scary for me. I also have to take work off next week because this was a major surgery. I hate taking off work. I hate being away from my child. I didn’t get to tuck her in to bed tonight. I won’t be home when she wakes up. I know she is in good hands and that hopefully now that the surgery is over, my bladder will become stronger. I wasn’t expecting it. I like to plan and know what is going to happen and when. Life doesn’t work that way. I’m sad. I’m pissed. I want to be at home. I desperately want this catheter out of me! I’m probably going to be complaining about this lame catheter for a while. Once it is out, I’m going to ask to keep it, and then I will burn it! Burn the whole thing up!

2 responses to “Lady Bits and Bladder Fits!

  1. Nice post! I hope you recover soon from surgery & get rid of catheter.
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