What I Ate Today

As told by my 22 month old daughter:

My mom got me up this morning. The first thing I asked for was yogurt. She told me to hang on until after she changed my diaper. How dare she! I don’t want to wait to have a fresh diaper put on before I get to eat, I’m hungry now! I cried the whole time she changed me to let my mom know how upset she made me.

She offered me a fruit and veggie pouch. I said I wanted it, until she opened it. Ha! Now she is going to have to waste food, because that is clearly not what  I asked for! I then asked for a cookie. She refused! Flat out refused! Who does she think she is? I want a cookie. It doesn’t matter what time of day it is, cookies are always acceptable. My mom doesn’t understand this. One day I will convince her that cookies for breakfast are the best idea.

I had a couple of bites from my pouch, then I wanted to watch my show. I saw that my mom was drinking a Red Bull. I politely asked if I could have a sip, once again this woman doesn’t honor that request. She is pretty mean! When I am old enough to drink Red Bull’s I’ll buy them all and that will show her!

She took me to get our nails done with some of her friends and my auntie! She didn’t let me get mine done because I’m apparently not old enough for that either. So I dug into her purse and pulled out her deodorant. I first rubbed it on my tummy because I think that’s where I’ve seen her put it before, that may not be quite right. I think I’m pretty close though so I think my mom will be delighted with how independent I am becoming. Some lady took it away from me before I could sneak a bite. She doesn’t know that I’ve tried deodorant many times, just not this particular brand.

We went for Mexican food. Once again my mom doesn’t understand me. She read me the kids menu and I agreed that cheese enchiladas sounded delish! By the time they were out I lost interest in that type of food. I told my mom; “don’t like.” I usually love cheese enchiladas and I have gobbled them up many times before. She doesn’t like when I change my mind on a whim. I like to keep this lady guessing so she won’t figure me out.

I did enjoy 2 bowls of mild salsa. At first I was dipping a chip in there and sucking it off. No one else really touched to bowl after I did that for a while, I think they wanted me to have the most because I’m cute. Then I got a spoon, which made eating the salsa so much better. After I filled my tummy up with salsa I smeared some around my face. I see my mom put masks on at night and I think this would make a good mask. Good for the pores I’m guessing.

For dinner, I had most of a fruit by the foot. I left the rest near my mom and dad’s shoes in case they want it in the morning. I had a bite of a graham cracker. I sucked some sauce off of a cucumber salad. I did this to every piece and then spit out the actual cucumber. I ate a few bites of cheese and threw the rest on the floor. I wiped the creamed peas and potatoes on the table, hoping my parents would think that I ate it. I don’t think they figured it out that I really didn’t.

I did eat all the blueberries, raspberries and strawberries on my plate. Then I asked for more. Because neither parent got more for me in 1.3 seconds, I threw them around when they finally brought me some new ones. Making a mess with my dinner sure did fill me up. I had 2 glasses of milk before I could even think about sleeping.

I think that I will probably like enchiladas and cucumbers again tomorrow, shhhh don’t tell my mom.

 

 

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