Well, I am gracing you all with yet another post about my bladder issues. I came into our guest bath early this morning so I wouldn’t wake my husband or my child. At first I took a bath. Usually this helps to somewhat ease my irritated bladder. No relief this morning.
Now, I am still on the toilet. Aren’t I just glamorous and sexy? My husband sure won a prize with me. Not even joking, I have been sitting here for 2 1/2 hours waiting for pee to fall out of me. I’m also waiting for my Vesicare and AZO to do their job. The reason I’m not in bed is that while nothing is coming out, I am in desperate need to pee. It feels like there is a fire poker up my urethra. Being in bed doesn’t help. I can’t sleep because of the burning and urgency feeling.
I did get some buddies to hang out with me. I’m talking of my glorious cat children of course. They snuggled up in the closet letting me know I’m not alone.
These are some good guys. Toggle and Maddie. I got lots of cat snuggles. Then they got into a scuffle and left me alone, with my crappy bladder and my cynical mindset. Feb. 4 please hurry up! That’s when I’m seeing the specialist. I have an appointment with my PCP for this Wed. Afternoon. I honestly don’t know what they could possibly give me or do to me that would help. I already explored so many different options and treatments with minimal improvements.
(PC: The Meta Picture)
I know the picture about is about period pain, but this is close to how I feel with my IC and Endometriosis. Constantly. Having a chainsaw cut through me might be a welcomed guest to my lady parts instead of the constant pain and irritation. I don’t think I remember what normal feels like.
I think I’m going to invest in a padded toilet seat. I know those are usually for the elderly. But I sure don’t feel like I’m 32. Plus, I’m always on the toilet it seems so I might as well be comfy. I feel so bad for my daughter. I’m not a fun mom. I’m a tired mom. I’m a cranky mom. And I’m a mom with little motivation to get out of bed and keep her entertained and have a wonderful childhood. That might be almost worse than the pain. The sadness I feel that my daughter might one day resent me because I was too tired, too sick, too whatever to give her the childhood she deserves.
She did take a bath next to me while I was just sitting here and we chatted once she woke up. So there is that. Quality bathroom time I guess. Mother of the Year award clearly!
At least the cats find me somewhat entertaining.
Toggle on my lap.He is willingly lounging on my leg. Proof that he does love me! Well, it’s back to reading. The one positive about this whole IC, Endo torture is that I’m getting a lot of reading in, which I love. See my cynical perspective isn’t completely missing. At least not yet.