‘Twas the Night Before Surgery

My chances of risk for tomorrow

We are about 10 hours away from my arrival at the hospital. The nerves have really started to kick in. My stomach is in knots and I feel like I could puke at any moment. I’ve heard that people who have had this surgery are grateful they did it. Hopefully, I will be one of the ones that feels like it was worth it.

I can’t take pain meds. They make me violently ill. I’ll have some for when I’m under, but not the rest of the recovery process. They said that the most common side effect is trouble swallowing. I don’t remember if I mentioned it in another post or not, but they are going in the left side of my neck and moving my esophagus and trachea aside. I am anxious about that part. I think I’ll freak out if I can’t swallow.

I know the pain will suck, but I’d like to think I can handle it. At least adequately enough. I guess I will be up and walking sometime tomorrow, unless any complications happen. Let’s keep those fingers crossed that everything goes according to plan.

Look at this picture of my gorgeous neck. Look at it! So beautiful! I don’t mind scars, but I’m weird about change. With each tattoo I’ve gotten I’ve had kind of a memorial for the place of skin that will no longer just be flesh. I think the scar will probably look cool, but it will be an adjustment to now have one. These are the last photos of my perfect neck without markings.

No scar yet

Last night with a scar free neck!

I hope everyone had a lovely 4th of July and got to spend some wonderful time with family and friends. That’s one of the major downsides of divorce. Splitting time with your kids. I had her last year for fireworks, and we agreed that every other year we will get her for fireworks. It’s absolutely fair, but crappy the year it’s not mine.

We have agreed to spend most holidays together or split between us. Like today I should have gotten the entire morning and early afternoon with her, and he would get late afternoon through fireworks. That way we both get to see her on holidays. A huge benefit of living close, with both sides of extended family close as well.

4th of July 2017

This morning she had a play date with some friends from her preschool and her dad met us there. She spent most of the day with him. One, because she would have more fun with him. Two, I’m in a lot of pain. Three, my mom had to pick me up to take me down to her house since she will be driving me to the hospital early tomorrow morning.

I hope people are watching some beautiful fireworks while listening to patriotic music, while I’m in bed watching old episodes of Family Guy while I type. I packed my baby blanket that I’ve had since I was a baby for extra luck tomorrow. And comfort. My nephews, 6 and 3, both said it was gross today. I even washed it this morning. In all fairness, it looks like a shredded mop and in no way resembles any type of blanket. But, it’s a comfort and I will never get rid of it.

Happy 4th!

Until I awake…..kisses!!!

Chances of getting hurt or dying tonight. Be safe!


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