Today is a good day for me. I’m stoked that my pain is at a 1/10. My pain level hasn’t been that low in months. The downside to having minimal pain is that I feel almost invincible. After my previous surgeries I have a tendency to over do it too quickly. I’m ready to get back to my life. I want to live again and do normal things.
I went for a nice walk with my mom this morning. Wearing the neck brace is a pain. It’s sweaty and doesn’t smell pleasant at all. I have to really focus on moving my torso instead of just my neck when I’m looking around. The restrictions are annoying. I have to retrain my body to cooperate with doctors orders.
My mom didn’t like my post yesterday about my poop problems. I still have no regrets writing that. It was awful. I didn’t know what to do so I MacGyvered that shit. I’d say I’m quite resourceful, and if anyone was in my position I feel they would attempt to relieve themselves with any options near them. Until you are trapped and that backed up, you don’t get to judge me. I heard that most people go to the ER in those situations to get it manually removed by a nurse. Gross. I also heard that hospitals aren’t supposed to discharge you until you’ve had a bowel movement. Another instance of the stellar communication regarding my hospital stay.
My pain level has increased to a 4/10 because I thought I could do more than my body can handle. Simple things like sitting, standing and slow walking really take it out of me. I like to think I can do more than I’m allowed to do because I’m a bit narcissistic and feel that my ideas are the best.
I’m going to take a nap and try to let my body reset. My incision sites are so incredibly itchy. My skin is so sensitive and it looks like hives surround them. I want to claw my neck open. Probably another idea that will be met with criticism from my mother and medical professionals. I do what I want! I’m too tired to do what I want currently so maybe I’ll do what I want when I wake up.
I’m grateful for a partially really good day. I will get better one day and that gives me hope. I have hope that I’m going to have some quality of life again. I’ve missed feeling like I have something to offer the world. I know the recovery process is going to be a long one, but if it means I eventually get to live instead of exist it will be worth it. It better be, because I can’t express enough how much hell this ordeal has been.
Wishing you all happy naps, no pain and wonderful quality lives! Muah!