Why does our society keep real, raw emotions so secretive? We ask others how they are doing, while only really wanting to hear them say “I’m fine.” We are in too much of a hurry to give a shit about anyone else’s lives. For those that actually want to share their truth and the pain they are going through, they don’t feel like they have the freedom to express themselves. They think no one cares anyway, so why should we even try?
Some people might think my blog is too negative or too depressing. First of all, if you don’t like it don’t read it. Next, I’m being real. Right now I feel negative. I am struggling with my depression. I am in physical and emotional pain. I am struggling. I am in a rut. You know what else? All of those feelings are ok. We are humans and we have every right to express it. If it makes someone uncomfortable, that’s their issue. I think it’s brave and strong to be yourself and tell it like you see it when everyone else is telling you that you’re wrong. Maybe the one’s that are “too sensitive” “too honest” “a bleeding heart” are actually the ones who have life figured out. Ever thought of that?
I have been told ever since I was a little girl that I was “too sensitive.” I’ve been told I was “too nice” and “too caring.” WTF is that? That’s not a thing. I say fuck you to that. It’s like a badge of honor in our society to not express emotions other than intimidation, power, and anger. That gets you respected. When I’m “too sensitive” I’m reaffirming society’s stereotype that I’m a weak woman and won’t have anything of value to contribute to a certain job or society because I cry easily. I have a tender heart and I do not apologize for that. I will NOT apologize for it.
This is one of my favorite quotes; “the only way for evil to prevail is if good men do nothing.” by Edmund Burke. There are some slight variations to that quote, but what I’ve written is tattooed on the back on my right arm. It inspires me. It reminds me that even if I’m not doing the unacceptable behavior, if I see it and do nothing, I am just as responsible as the perpetrator. We turn our heads and avert our eyes to things we don’t want to acknowledge that they exist. But that’s life. That is why my heart is so tender. That is why I “care too much.” We already have so many people caring too little, I may not be able to make a major difference in the world. But I’m sure going to try.
I’ve been told I was grandiose and delusional because I want to save the world. Ok, that’s probably not possible. But who would ever try to put someone down who has that goal? Shoot for the moon and even if you miss you’ll land among the stars. I’d rather try too hard and fail, than sit back and pretend that unacceptable behavior is ok, because I’m not standing up for the ones that can’t defend themselves.
The way I think is more exhausting. It does add to my depression. I tend to be more cynical than most people. This isn’t to be negative. It’s to be real. I’m a realist and I’ve worked in addictions, mental hospitals, jails. I’ve worked with some of the most challenging populations and guess what they don’t need? Tough love. Someone else pointing out their flaws. Being told they are worthless and have no purpose. When we are allowed to see people as people, and really want to see them, you don’t just accept the good parts of them. You get the good, the bad and the ugly. I am judgmental towards people, I’m trying not to be, but for the most part I feel I see at least some good in others, after all we are all people. Every person started out innocent and we don’t know other people’s circumstances that brought them to make the choices they have made in their lives. They can’t change their past, I can’t change their past; but as a society we can treat individuals like humans. We need to have more of a community thinking. We are all selfish and try to get stuff, money and power for ourselves. Other cultures work as a team. They seem to understand what really matters; not materialistic stuff, overworking ourselves while ignoring our families, money. Our lives should be about quality. Quality time with loved ones. Getting joy in helping others. And having more experiences and less possessions.
I would put my life on the possibility that if we become more compassionate towards others; become more accepting, and more willing to help others then there would be significant decreases in crimes, less suicides, less isolation and feelings of worthlessness and being hopeless. I don’t have many followers on my blog and that’s ok. I’m just rambling here, but this is what I’m passionate about. We are all equals. I’m not better than anyone else, even if I were a billionaire that doesn’t mean shit. It’s my heart that counts. No one gets to choose who their parents are. We don’t get to choose the color of our skin. We can’t choose our financial situations. With all of these things being out of everyone’s control it confuses me that we judge others on stupid things that not one of us chose or had any say in.
I have so many things to say on this topic and other related ones, my mind is racing and wanting to get it all out. Again, sorry for the stream of consciousness. I believe that violence is a learned behavior. Research has proven that learned behaviors can be unlearned. See where I’m going with this? It won’t work for everyone, it just won’t. But don’t judge a person on their history and their mistakes. Violence can be unlearned.
Let’s give people chances. Let’s help provide safe environments where we are actually interested in how a person is doing. How they are really doing, not the “I’m fine” because society tells us to do that weird shit. Let’s take an interest into things and people other than ourselves. I wonder what kind of a world it could be if each day we were just a tad nicer, a tad kinder, give one more person a genuine smile, a wave to a lonely individual. The little things matter, and the little things can become the big things if we get enough people who want to make the world a better place.
My post may not be easy to follow to be on the same topic, however, the way my brain works I see all the connections. I’ve had people tell me they would love to be inside my head for a day. There’s some deep shit in there. And some awesome as well. Venting, complaining, feeling sorry for myself; however you want to classify this post as makes me feel a little lighter. It’s ok for me to struggle. When I struggle it also helps me to think about the injustices in the world and if there is something I could do to help change it. I’m an empath and will always feel the pain of others. While it hurts my heart, I can handle it and hopefully be able to make the world a better place. Even a tiny bit.
Sorry, not sorry; for the serious tangent I went on. I felt like writing what I was thinking and it feels really good to get this out even if no one ever reads it. Honestly, it took my mind off some of the neck pain I’m having right now, so that is extra wonderful. Have good snoozes everyone! XOXO