Category Archives: Motherhood

Pee Pals

Well, I am gracing you all with yet another post about my bladder issues. I came into our guest bath early this morning so I wouldn’t wake my husband or my child. At first I took a bath. Usually this helps to somewhat ease my irritated bladder. No relief this morning.

Now, I am still on the toilet. Aren’t I just glamorous and sexy? My husband sure won a prize with me. Not even joking, I have been sitting here for 2 1/2 hours waiting for pee to fall out of me. I’m also waiting for my Vesicare and AZO to do their job. The reason I’m not in bed is that while nothing is coming out, I am in desperate need to pee. It feels like there is a fire poker up my urethra. Being in bed doesn’t help. I can’t sleep because of the burning and urgency feeling.

I did get some buddies to hang out with me. I’m talking of my glorious cat children of course. They snuggled up in the closet letting me know I’m not alone.

These are some good guys. Toggle and Maddie. I got lots of cat snuggles. Then they got into a scuffle and left me alone, with my crappy bladder and my cynical mindset. Feb. 4 please hurry up! That’s when I’m seeing the specialist. I have an appointment with my PCP for this Wed. Afternoon. I honestly don’t know what they could possibly give me or do to me that would help. I already explored so many different options and treatments with minimal improvements.

(PC: The Meta Picture)

I know the picture about is about period pain, but this is close to how I feel with my IC and Endometriosis. Constantly. Having a chainsaw cut through me might be a welcomed guest to my lady parts instead of the constant pain and irritation. I don’t think I remember what normal feels like.

I think I’m going to invest in a padded toilet seat. I know those are usually for the elderly. But I sure don’t feel like I’m 32. Plus, I’m always on the toilet it seems so I might as well be comfy. I feel so bad for my daughter. I’m not a fun mom. I’m a tired mom. I’m a cranky mom. And I’m a mom with little motivation to get out of bed and keep her entertained and have a wonderful childhood. That might be almost worse than the pain. The sadness I feel that my daughter might one day resent me because I was too tired, too sick, too whatever to give her the childhood she deserves.

She did take a bath next to me while I was just sitting here and we chatted once she woke up. So there is that. Quality bathroom time I guess. Mother of the Year award clearly!

At least the cats find me somewhat entertaining.

Toggle on my lap.He is willingly lounging on my leg. Proof that he does love me! Well, it’s back to reading. The one positive about this whole IC, Endo torture is that I’m getting a lot of reading in, which I love. See my cynical perspective isn’t completely missing. At least not yet.

Continued Pee Problems

My husband apparently feels so bad about my pee problems that he is now suffering from kidney stones. We are quite the duo. Poor guy has been struggling with significant pain for a little over 2 weeks. He’s been to doctor countless times and even the ER and he keeps getting the same answer that it will pass soon. He is on a lot of pain meds. Poor guy, he looks miserable. Hopefully it will pass soon. I guess it hurts when it’s traveling to the bladder, then he is supposed to get a break until it travels to his urethra. From the urethra until it’s completely passed is said to be extremely painful. The good news is that once it has passed he is supposed to have instant relief and feel better.

My hubby hates needles. And I mean HATE. He is willing to go into the hospital again to have IV pain meds or even have surgery to get the stone out. He is so miserable and it’s pretty sad to watch. He has also been so sweet because he told me he gets my bladder pain. Oh and he gets to pee into a strainer to keep the stone so the doctors can determine what type of stone it is. I didn’t know that was a thing or that there was more than 1 type of kidney stones.

And of course I am still in an IC (interstitial cystitis) flare up. The same one that has been going on for what, the past 6 weeks? This is hell on earth. I think that I would take getting repeatedly punched in the face by a large man than deal with this crap anymore. I started to keep a log of how many times I peeing a day. The average day is in the 40s. That is excessive. Especially, since I have to concentrate to pee. I can’t talk, be on my iPad or phone. I can’t pet the cats. It is serious business where I have to will my bladder to cooperate.

Staying in bed seems to be the only real thing that helps ease the symptoms, as well as hold my crotch. Neither of these options get me very far in my life. Any time I get up it feels like a heavy weight wants to fall out of me. It’s an instant need to urinate, but then it gets stage fright apparently and needs to be coaxed into leaving my body.

Then after I think I got everything out, I have to pee again. I can’t remember the last time that I didn’t feel the need to pee. It makes me sad because my daughter now goes around the house holding her vagina and says “ouch” or “it hurts.” Nothing appears to be wrong with her so I think she’s learning that behavior from me.

I hope this issue gets resolved soon. I would hate to constantly need to take it easy and then my daughter resents me one day for not being a fun or present parent. Stress adds to the flare ups. It also seems like if the wind blows the wrong direction I feel like I have a raging UTI. I don’t look forward to traveling because I usually get an IC flare up whenever I’m on a plane. I get a flair up if anything is too stressful. Ha! Life is stressful. Raising my toddler is stressful. Um..working at a jail is stressful. But I can’t and don’t want to quit my job. I definitely can’t quit being a mother. How am I supposed to avoid stress in my life, when stress is a part of life?

We went snowmobiling on New Years Eve. We had to cut the day a bit short. Going over the bumps did a number on my bladder. I also peed myself numerous times throughout the day. Don’t you just love the feeling of having no control over your bladder and peeing on yourself? I love it. It’s so fun….that’s another issue. I can’t engage in activities I enjoy without either getting a flare up or can’t find anywhere to pee. This really prevents me from even wanting to socialize. I think the mess that is my bladder and girl parts make it very easy for me to stay in my house and live in my bed. I try to get out, but as of late, I have to pee every few minutes that it’s not worth it to get out of the house.

One day there will be a cure for this horrid disease. I hope. I insist! This whole condition can make a person feel completely isolated and lonely. I don’t want to complain about it. I also want to get my frustrations out. Some good news is that I’m seeing a uro-gyno who specializes in pelvic pain. But my appointment isn’t until Feb. 4. But the Dr. is a female. And she specializes in IC and Endometriosis. And I have recently found out that you can get Botox to help paralyze some of the spasms that make the condition so miserable. I’m going to inquire about that. If I decide on the Botox I wonder if I could convince the Dr. to just put a little extra into my face. I mean, she already has the stuff and if you’re putting it one place can’t you just put it anywhere? I’m going to ask her. Hopefully she will be awesome and say yes. A girl can dream. Guess what I have to do now? I have to pee….again. I’m having so much fun! I think I’m the one keeping Charmain and AZO in business since those are the 2 most common things I buy.

All I Want for Christmas is You……..to be Potty Trained

I have plenty of stuff. What I really want is for my daughter to be potty trained. She’s 2 1/4, people say I shouldn’t worry because she won’t be going to college in a diaper. I’m not convinced that these people are correct. I feel like it’s NEVER going to happen. Please oh please let it happen. And soon.

We started potty training about a year ago. She wasn’t quite 18 months. I thought potty training would be easy and that my kid would be so amazing and my parenting would be so amazing that she would be all done with diapers well before 2. As we are all learning, our kids have their own opinions and we aren’t really in charge.

We have a kids potty. We have a tiny toilet seat that can be put over the toilet to make it easier for her to learn. We have a potty book that has fun sounds and songs. It’s not happening. I don’t think it’s because my child can’t learn, I think she won’t. She knows when she has to go and sometimes tells us. When I ask her to use the potty she refuses. Or if she does want to use it, it’s not to actually go. She likes to flush it. She also likes to try and wipe when mommy and daddy are using the potty. Pretty invasive if you ask me.

(PC: The Meta Picture: if this doesn’t happen soon,

I will have a nervous breakdown)

I hate diapers. I’m over them. They are super expensive. Cloth grosses me out. Our little love is so funny when it comes to her choice of diapers. She likes the diapers that have Minnie Mouse on them or Doc McStuffins. If we run out of those it is an all out battle, complete with a terrible two style meltdown. Oh, did I mention that she can change her own diaper and uses the wipes correctly? Yeah…so if it’s just a potty we have her change them since she can. We hoped this would make her bored of changing her own diapers. It did not.

She wastes so many diapers. Even if there is nothing in it, when she toots she says; “it’s a poopie” and changes her diaper destroying the perfectly good one in the process. Or she will take off the diaper and refuse to put another one on. She did this over the weekend and peed on the stairs and on the 2nd floor. Then she had the nerve to ask “what happened?” What do you mean what happened? You peed on the floor. Because you refused to wear a diaper. And refused to go to the bathroom. And I had to clean it up. And you STILL didn’t put on a diaper or underwear. Good grief! This child will be the death of me!

(PC:The Berry; is it too early for bed?)

So yes, for Christmas I would greatly appreciate a completely potty trained toddler. I don’t know how to register for this. I’ve been good this year so maybe Santa has gotten this for me. And if he doesn’t we are now bribing our child to use the potty. A dime for a potty or a small treat, a quarter for a poopie or a couple of small treats and a quarter for each nap. This kid could make a killing by being potty trained and napping. She did take a nap today so she earned a quarter. Not a cent more…..maybe tomorrow she will need a lot of change.

Second Blog

Hello everyone. I have just started a second blog. What?!?! I know. I know. I barely have the time for one. I wanted the other blog to have more of a clear focus. So I am still debating if I’m going to stop my Treat Tuesdays on this blog and probably just have it on the other one. The second blog will focus on recipes, decorating, holidays, entertaining, and gift guides. It won’t have as much personal stuff. Which I will still write about here if you’d like to continue to follow.

Since this blog is all over the place, I wanted to have a less chaotic place to share my recipes and fun projects. Probably not everyone wants to read about my adventures with my toddler, although I think they should. And I know my bladder issues are very sexy to write about haha! I’m going to continue my Thankful Thursdays for the remainder of the month, while also sharing the same post on the other blog so if you sign up to both it may be a little redundant for a bit until I get everything sorted. Sorry for the confusion.

So, if you would like to check out the second one and subscribe I think that would be amazing! I appreciate you all and hope you like the new blog and stay tuned here for more silly adventures with my kid!

New blog is; Mommy Daughter Delights

Thanks!!!

Target is my Antidepressant

Can a girl get a prescription please? I don’t know if it’s possible to be sad in Target. Unless you are a 2 year-old. The rest of society should be elated each time you are in the store. They have everything! And I love me some everything!

(PC: WTF Pinterest)

I went there with my BFF and daughter the other day. It’s like a date with my bestie. We always have fun there and spend way too much time and money. I asked one of the employees if I could live there. I didn’t get a response. I’m quite insulted actually.

(PC: Some Ecards)

Target really is a great date idea. Especially if my husband comes and supports my addiction to stuff. I really do need to declutter, but how can I declutter unless I have the perfect organization bins for all my stuff? While I’m there I probably need some clothes that will make me happy. Then I need some groceries. While here we should absolutely check out the dollar section. It’s a dollar so I need it. Holiday stuff has to be looked at. That’s why they put the displays up early, so people can oooo and ahhhhh at it. Which I do. Then I get more ideas for how I need to organize my house. See me thought process?

Well, my 2 year-old doesn’t like my process unless I get her everything her heart desires. I’m not made of money kid! I wouldn’t let her get a Paw Patrol themed bed spread. That was a mistake. Little girl threw herself on the floor and had a long wail. I stood back and let her sort it out. As a parent you know that little ones cannot always be reasoned with. Might was well let her get it out of her system.

Poor kid. We had a rough go for a bit. Thankfully something else caught her attention and she was back to my sweet girl. Target can be overwhelming for a kid. Probably overstimulating. She will appreciate the amazingness of Target as she gets bigger. She will learn that Target completes lives.

Why yes, we did have a little bit of a licking the cart incident. Germs make for a healthy immune system, right? Sure, we will go with that. So gross. Anyway, she does know that when we check out she gets a sticker. Her sweet voice asked for a sticker and then says thank you. Enough to melt my heart. Then I get complimented on her good manners. I will take it. Yes she sure did have a temper tantrum, but little girl knows how to rock those “pleases” and “thank you’s” so that’s something!