With all the awful IC flare ups, I am struggling to find things to be thankful for. I like to express what I am grateful for because I think it’s so important to realize that when we are in a negative head space that there are still some things that are a blessing. Even if you have to really, really, rrreaaalllllyyy dig deep to find that blessing.
(PC: The Meta Picture)
So I know the picture is more related to periods, but I feel like this is my life constantly. Except I don’t if it’s more my IC or Endo. I had a laparoscopic procedure in Oct. 2012 due to pelvic pain. That’s where they found several ovarian cysts, (one the size of my ovary) Endometriosis and an adhesion. The Endo was all over, including my bladder. So I’m thinking and hoping that the Endo is on my bladder instead of my symptoms just being from IC. Because if the constant pain is from Endo then I’m seriously just going to beg them to take it all. Remove all the crap that is making my life a living hell.
If it’s not, and the issue is the IC I will more than likely have a very large meltdown. Feeling like this is overwhelming and contributing to my depression getting worse. However, I am very open and honest with my husband and Doctor and I am managing the depression okay. Chronic pain, certain conditions/diseases just suck the life out of you. I am trying. I really am. It’s just hard.
So, back to the thankful part, I know there hasn’t been anything positive so far. I am thankful that we have amazing insurance! I’ve had good insurance, crap insurance and no insurance before. Since I’ve been married, our insurance has been incredible. It’s so appreciated. Especially with all my issues. I started a new medication yesterday, Uribel. It’s a 4 time a day pill. I’m not sure if it’s new or not, but I have tried every med for my IC with little to no relief. I’m hopeful this will be one that helps me feel better.
A major negative to this med is that it can cost an average of $300/month. That is ridiculous. At the same time, I would willingly go broke if it meant I got some relief. I would also cut of my arms at this point to get relief. I know that good insurance is hard to find, but we have a great plan, which allows me the opportunity to explore the numerous medication and treatment options to get me feeling like a normal human again.
Oh, and I fun little perk of the medication is that it turns my pee blue. Not Windex blue, more of a happy, cloudless day blue. So when I do pee it is a fun little surprise since I’ve never had blue pee before. Pretty thrilling for the moment.