Tag Archives: mommyhood

Pee Pals

Well, I am gracing you all with yet another post about my bladder issues. I came into our guest bath early this morning so I wouldn’t wake my husband or my child. At first I took a bath. Usually this helps to somewhat ease my irritated bladder. No relief this morning.

Now, I am still on the toilet. Aren’t I just glamorous and sexy? My husband sure won a prize with me. Not even joking, I have been sitting here for 2 1/2 hours waiting for pee to fall out of me. I’m also waiting for my Vesicare and AZO to do their job. The reason I’m not in bed is that while nothing is coming out, I am in desperate need to pee. It feels like there is a fire poker up my urethra. Being in bed doesn’t help. I can’t sleep because of the burning and urgency feeling.

I did get some buddies to hang out with me. I’m talking of my glorious cat children of course. They snuggled up in the closet letting me know I’m not alone.

These are some good guys. Toggle and Maddie. I got lots of cat snuggles. Then they got into a scuffle and left me alone, with my crappy bladder and my cynical mindset. Feb. 4 please hurry up! That’s when I’m seeing the specialist. I have an appointment with my PCP for this Wed. Afternoon. I honestly don’t know what they could possibly give me or do to me that would help. I already explored so many different options and treatments with minimal improvements.

(PC: The Meta Picture)

I know the picture about is about period pain, but this is close to how I feel with my IC and Endometriosis. Constantly. Having a chainsaw cut through me might be a welcomed guest to my lady parts instead of the constant pain and irritation. I don’t think I remember what normal feels like.

I think I’m going to invest in a padded toilet seat. I know those are usually for the elderly. But I sure don’t feel like I’m 32. Plus, I’m always on the toilet it seems so I might as well be comfy. I feel so bad for my daughter. I’m not a fun mom. I’m a tired mom. I’m a cranky mom. And I’m a mom with little motivation to get out of bed and keep her entertained and have a wonderful childhood. That might be almost worse than the pain. The sadness I feel that my daughter might one day resent me because I was too tired, too sick, too whatever to give her the childhood she deserves.

She did take a bath next to me while I was just sitting here and we chatted once she woke up. So there is that. Quality bathroom time I guess. Mother of the Year award clearly!

At least the cats find me somewhat entertaining.

Toggle on my lap.He is willingly lounging on my leg. Proof that he does love me! Well, it’s back to reading. The one positive about this whole IC, Endo torture is that I’m getting a lot of reading in, which I love. See my cynical perspective isn’t completely missing. At least not yet.

All I Want for Christmas is You……..to be Potty Trained

I have plenty of stuff. What I really want is for my daughter to be potty trained. She’s 2 1/4, people say I shouldn’t worry because she won’t be going to college in a diaper. I’m not convinced that these people are correct. I feel like it’s NEVER going to happen. Please oh please let it happen. And soon.

We started potty training about a year ago. She wasn’t quite 18 months. I thought potty training would be easy and that my kid would be so amazing and my parenting would be so amazing that she would be all done with diapers well before 2. As we are all learning, our kids have their own opinions and we aren’t really in charge.

We have a kids potty. We have a tiny toilet seat that can be put over the toilet to make it easier for her to learn. We have a potty book that has fun sounds and songs. It’s not happening. I don’t think it’s because my child can’t learn, I think she won’t. She knows when she has to go and sometimes tells us. When I ask her to use the potty she refuses. Or if she does want to use it, it’s not to actually go. She likes to flush it. She also likes to try and wipe when mommy and daddy are using the potty. Pretty invasive if you ask me.

(PC: The Meta Picture: if this doesn’t happen soon,

I will have a nervous breakdown)

I hate diapers. I’m over them. They are super expensive. Cloth grosses me out. Our little love is so funny when it comes to her choice of diapers. She likes the diapers that have Minnie Mouse on them or Doc McStuffins. If we run out of those it is an all out battle, complete with a terrible two style meltdown. Oh, did I mention that she can change her own diaper and uses the wipes correctly? Yeah…so if it’s just a potty we have her change them since she can. We hoped this would make her bored of changing her own diapers. It did not.

She wastes so many diapers. Even if there is nothing in it, when she toots she says; “it’s a poopie” and changes her diaper destroying the perfectly good one in the process. Or she will take off the diaper and refuse to put another one on. She did this over the weekend and peed on the stairs and on the 2nd floor. Then she had the nerve to ask “what happened?” What do you mean what happened? You peed on the floor. Because you refused to wear a diaper. And refused to go to the bathroom. And I had to clean it up. And you STILL didn’t put on a diaper or underwear. Good grief! This child will be the death of me!

(PC:The Berry; is it too early for bed?)

So yes, for Christmas I would greatly appreciate a completely potty trained toddler. I don’t know how to register for this. I’ve been good this year so maybe Santa has gotten this for me. And if he doesn’t we are now bribing our child to use the potty. A dime for a potty or a small treat, a quarter for a poopie or a couple of small treats and a quarter for each nap. This kid could make a killing by being potty trained and napping. She did take a nap today so she earned a quarter. Not a cent more…..maybe tomorrow she will need a lot of change.

Target is my Antidepressant

Can a girl get a prescription please? I don’t know if it’s possible to be sad in Target. Unless you are a 2 year-old. The rest of society should be elated each time you are in the store. They have everything! And I love me some everything!

(PC: WTF Pinterest)

I went there with my BFF and daughter the other day. It’s like a date with my bestie. We always have fun there and spend way too much time and money. I asked one of the employees if I could live there. I didn’t get a response. I’m quite insulted actually.

(PC: Some Ecards)

Target really is a great date idea. Especially if my husband comes and supports my addiction to stuff. I really do need to declutter, but how can I declutter unless I have the perfect organization bins for all my stuff? While I’m there I probably need some clothes that will make me happy. Then I need some groceries. While here we should absolutely check out the dollar section. It’s a dollar so I need it. Holiday stuff has to be looked at. That’s why they put the displays up early, so people can oooo and ahhhhh at it. Which I do. Then I get more ideas for how I need to organize my house. See me thought process?

Well, my 2 year-old doesn’t like my process unless I get her everything her heart desires. I’m not made of money kid! I wouldn’t let her get a Paw Patrol themed bed spread. That was a mistake. Little girl threw herself on the floor and had a long wail. I stood back and let her sort it out. As a parent you know that little ones cannot always be reasoned with. Might was well let her get it out of her system.

Poor kid. We had a rough go for a bit. Thankfully something else caught her attention and she was back to my sweet girl. Target can be overwhelming for a kid. Probably overstimulating. She will appreciate the amazingness of Target as she gets bigger. She will learn that Target completes lives.

Why yes, we did have a little bit of a licking the cart incident. Germs make for a healthy immune system, right? Sure, we will go with that. So gross. Anyway, she does know that when we check out she gets a sticker. Her sweet voice asked for a sticker and then says thank you. Enough to melt my heart. Then I get complimented on her good manners. I will take it. Yes she sure did have a temper tantrum, but little girl knows how to rock those “pleases” and “thank you’s” so that’s something!

Birthday Surprises…I HATE Surprises

I am not a very social person. I like spending time with people I’m extremely comfortable with, and usually in small groups. I like structure. I like to know what is going on and what to expect. I do not take surprises well. I get overwhelmed easily. My friends know this. My family knows this. My husband knows this.

(PC: the berry)

I love celebrating my friends and family’s birthdays. I don’t like celebrating my own. I never have. I usually get really depressed around my birthday. I remember when I was 10, my mom made me a chocolate cake and the number 10 was designed on the cake with those pumpkin candies. I remember thinking; “wow, my life is going by so quickly. I’m getting old.” Silly, right? Well those clearly rational thoughts have never gone away.

(I don’t know who to credit for this photo, my best friend texted it to me one day after finding it online)

This is a long story so stay with me. While my family was planning my birthday they asked me where I wanted to eat. I said; “lunch at mom’s house.” What is better than your favorite meal made by your mother? Nothing. My mom tried to convince me to go to a restaurant to celebrate. She asked me at least 20 different times leading up to my birthday. I complained to my husband about how I can’t understand why my mom is so pushy about going to a restaurant. My sister and I both have little ones. Taking little kids to a restaurant is a nightmare. I wanted to relax and be around the people I love.

My husband asked me what I wanted to do several times. Again, I said eat lunch at my parents house and then nothing. I wanted to relax and read. Then, my best friend asked if I wanted to get a couples massage with her for my birthday. Absolutely! Relaxing with my best friend sounds lovely. Not too much effort on my part. Great! Done! I asked my husband if he would be okay with this, he seemed excited that I’d want to do something for my day.

(My BF, daughter and me before leaving for the massage)

We arrived at the spa and checked in. Then my BF was looking at her phone and I glanced over and saw my husbands name in her Facebook messenger. I asked her why they were talking. She turned bright red and said it’s none of my business. The wheels started spinning in my head, but I was drawing a blank. I knew then there was a surprise but I didn’t know what it was. I asked her if I would hate it. She said no. I asked her 2 more times while getting our massages. I thought having her relaxed would make her more likely to talk, it didn’t. I was hoping that whatever it was, that it would be low-key. Like very few, if any, other people involved. I was and always will be perfectly okay hanging out by myself and isolating. Socializing is a lot of work.

After the massages, we drove into our neighborhood. I spotted my parent’s cars while pulling up to my house. I was confused, but then thought how nice he’s having my parents and sister come over. I walked in the house and saw one of my dearest friends standing in my kitchen. I was very confused because I wasn’t expecting to see her. Then I looked over and saw my aunt and uncle. They live in Ohio. I kind of stared at them, then it registered that they came to see me! What?!?! Amazing! My sister, brother in-law, nephews, best friends, parents, aunt and uncle and darling friends from high school all came to my house to celebrate me. My husband had been planning this for 3 months. I had no idea. I wasn’t expecting it at all. I was slightly overwhelmed with tons of people at my house. But, I felt so completely loved and honored that people would come fly/drive really far to see me, all of them just to spend time with me for my b-day.

I hate surprises. Did I already say that?  I do. Almost always. But NOT this one. As much as I dread my birthday, this year was by far my most favorite birthday. I found out that my husband was trying to surprise me at a restaurant initially and had tried to get my mom to convince me to go out to eat (this didn’t click with me until he explained it; I promise I’m not stupid). When it was clear I wouldn’t go out to eat, he asked my best friend to take me to get massages. He paid for them. For 80 minutes! It was the best massage of my life! So much fun getting a couples massage with your bestie, I highly recommend it. After we left to get massages, my aunt and mom came to my house and they, along with my husband cleaned it. They had dinner waiting for me. Cupcakes. Loved ones. All there for me. I may not always express to my husband how much I appreciate him, but he is amazing. I really hit the jackpot with this one. For him to do something so kind and thoughtful and wanted to include my loved ones is just over the top. Besides having the best husband, I really do have a terrific family and the most wonderful friends anyone could ever have.

(This guy…my heart..he totally has it)

Yeah…and a couple of months ago I didn’t know what to get him. Yep, I sure did hand him our daughter and said “your welcome.” That’s a pretty good gift. Now I really need to make up for that one. I’m not a bad wife, I promise. He’s just so hard to buy for. He has everything. He buys what he wants. I can’t afford the things that he would love to have. At the end of the day, gifts don’t really matter. This surprise party was one of the best gifts I’ve ever gotten. I will remember this for the rest of my life. Words can never express how much this birthday meant to me. Every one of those people who helped me celebrate my birthday mean the world to me. For those of my friends who read my blog, I adore you all. Truly and with my whole heart.

Oh and I still got to have my favorite meal prepared by my loving mom. I’m a very lucky lady. Young lady. I’m young!

5 Things I Really Had to Say to My Toddler This Week

1) We do NOT put drumsticks in the kitty’s litter box:

Yes. I found my little girl in the laundry room, digging around the litter box with some drumsticks. I asked her what she was doing, she said; “playing.” I told her we don’t do that. She laughed of course. Then I had to thoroughly wash her hands, and mine….several times. Gross!

2) We do NOT wash our hands in applesauce:

She had some applesauce with her dinner. I was cleaning up the kitchen. Then I hear a sweet voice say; “I clean my hands.” She enjoys washing her hands and helping clean lately. However, this time she was cleaning then in her applesauce. Of course she made sure to get some between every finger. Then she spread it onto the counter and her chair. It was fun.

3) No, you may not get naked in front of your friends:

We had some of her friends come over yesterday. She likes older kids. They leave their clothes on. Not sure why she felt the need to strip in the living room. But she did. Then strutted away with her cute cheeks hanging out.

4) The fridge is not a good place for a nap:

This one scares me a bit. She now knows how to open the fridge and freezer doors. Except she is fascinated by trying to fit in, and tries to close the door. Thank goodness she is too big to actually succeed at this. She likes to kind of sit in the door and try to snack on pickles. Yep.

5) The carpet does not need to be blow-dried:

This one is kinda my fault. I can’t leave her alone for 1 second. And I mean, literally 1 second. I was blow drying my hair in the hallway. For some reason my outlets in my bathroom and the guest bathroom aren’t working. The breakers seem to be fine. Anyway, I was drying my hair in the hallway. I left it on the floor to let the dog back inside. Then I hear the smoke detectors going off. My sweet angel was holding the blow dryer on the carpet. In the middle of the hallway. You can’t hide it. It’s been a really fun week. I mean, really super fun. I don’t even know where she comes up with these ideas.

I’m pretty certain that this child is the main reason I have to dye my hair frequently now. I’m not quite 32. I’ve had to dye my hair for a couple of years now. My daughter is 2. Coincidence? I think not. I need help! Grey is not flattering with my skin tone.

(Photo Credit: The Chive)